 |
| goodreads.com |
My
first memory of reading a trashy book was in middle school when I started the Gossip Girl (GG)
series by Cecily von
Ziegesar. I loved entering the mind of Blair Waldorf and dreaming of attending
a private school in the Upper East Side. The lavish parties, the beautiful
clothes, and the lack of adult supervision seemed like a perfect way to live. I
continued reading the GG
series until its end. I even
tried reading the spin-off series Gossip
Girl: The Carlyles, but it
wasn’t the same. A ghostwriter wrote them, and the new characters weren’t able
to capture the snarky tone of von Ziegesar’s characters.
That’s
why I was thrilled when von Ziegear announced she was rewriting the first Gossip
Girl novel as if main
characters Blair Waldorf and Serena Van der Woodsen were serial killers. I
finally had a chance to read it, ten years after the original GG was published by Little, Brown and Company.
The
GG series was never meant to be timeless,
and it was filled with references to movies, designers, and celebrities that
were popular in the early 2000s. My main question going into Gossip Girl Psycho Killer was whether or not those references
would be updated. I had my answer by the time I got to page five and found a
reference to the television series Dexter. Everything in the book was modernized
to fit into current pop culture. It was also updated to seem more murderous.
The
“Kiss on the Lips” party to save the falcons (a major plot-point in the
original GG) has become the “Kiss Me or Die” party
to save the birds of prey. Blair no longer obsesses over Audrey Hepburn. Now
she wants to be like the stars of old horror films. All of the original GG chapters were present in Psycho Killer,
but they were tweaked to fit the new plot.
Speaking
of the new plot, I found it frighteningly believable that Blair and Serena were
serial killers. When Serena returns to the Upper East Side after being away at
boarding school, Blair’s old jealousies come back. Once she finds out that
Serena has been murdering people, Blair decides she will murder a person for
each of Serena’s kills. And she keeps that promise. One by one, the inhabitants
of New York City find themselves under attack by one of the two beautiful
trust-fund babies out for revenge. Each death is different from the next. These
girls are much too clever for a simple stabbing or shooting. Throughout the
book, characters are beheaded by pizza cutters, have their eyelids removed via
eyelash curler, and burned in the incinerator.
Right
away it becomes obvious that murder on the Upper East Side is different than
the average murder. There’s no need to bother with clean up or disposal of
bodies. That’s what the maids are for! Initially, I was annoyed at how easily
these girls get away with murder. There are no consequences. Everyone knows
what Blair and Serena are up to, but they all just turn a blind eye.
It’s
my fault for hoping the book would be realistic. I should have known that this
would be campy, and I shouldn’t have expected anything more than that. One
chapter actually finds Blair and Serena having a sword fight in the Arms and
Armor display of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It’s fine because Blair’s
family actually donated the money that paid for the display. I’ve never been a
socialite, so maybe that is how the world works for them.
When
I wasn’t annoyed at how unrealistic the book was, I really enjoyed reading it.
It was a walk down memory lane. I’m glad I had another chance to transport
myself into the life of the rich and semi-famous. I highly recommend this book
to fans of the original series, but I doubt a person who never read a Gossip Girl book would enjoy reading this.
Psycho Killer was incredibly fun to read, but I
sincerely hope von Ziegesar doesn’t sign on to rewrite any of the other books
in this way. I also hope her ghostwriter doesn’t get any ideas. This was great
for one book, and one book only. After a while there won’t be anyone left to
kill, so she might as well quit while fan-favorites are still breathing.
Gossip Girl Psycho Killer is published by Poppy (an imprint of
Little, Brown), and it can be purchased at bookstores everywhere for $10.99 or
as an e-book for $8.99.
Written By Chelsey Falco
